Have you ever wondered what causes stress?
Have you ever asked yourself and questioned why is stress more and more present in people’s every day lives nowadays?
We are all so used to stress in today’s society that we consider it normal. Is it normal for us to be stressed all the time? Of course not!
What I saw during my journey and what I see often in today’s world that a lot of things like stress, and things that aren’t really natural for us, since they are happening all around us, we accept those things as normal without questioning anything about it.
We stopped questioning everything, especially ourselves and our beliefs and why are certain things happening in our lives. We are living in a world where we accept things happening as normal things, but we don’t question or see how we can change them, or what causes them and we give our power away to the circumstances, therefore living in a victim mode.
„Oh my life is like this always and there’s nothing I can do about it, because it is normal – I’m just unlucky, or I was born in this kind of family, or I’m just that type of a person“. We start talking like this, when we are so used to those things happening no matter how bad we feel, that they become familiar to us, and we are always more attached to familiarity more than to discomfort of change and doing something new or different.
These situations only start changing, when our situation actually becomes so bad, that we got sick and tired of it, and we decide that we will get out of it no matter what and change whatever needs to be changed. Until then, we will just live as we did, in resistance to the environment but familiar with it, with no desire or awareness to do something about it and actually change!
We start accepting things like stress, health problems, financial issues, relationship issues like they are normal and they just fall from the sky, and when they come there’s nothing we can do about it and it’s everyone else fault.
So, how can we start questioning all of it? How does the change actually start and with what?
First, knowing how do we actually start feeling stressed which is the root and beginning of all before mentioned problems.
Simply put, we experience stress when we are in resistance to what is happening AT THIS MOMENT. Whether that is a situation that happened, a specific person did something, or the emotions that we are feeling at those moments. When we are in resistance with our environment and we are trying to control it and especially our emotions, we start experiencing stress.
We don’t like the feeling, we don’t like the situation, it is very uncomfortable for us, so we don’t want to feel it, we don’t express it, we don’t accept it. So that leads to suppressing ourselves and our emotions with food, drinks, drugs, entertainment, whatever the choice is, just to get out of that uncomfortable place in that moment.
However, as we all figured out, that only works temporarily, when you sober up, when the food goes down, when the show is over, we start feeling like that again, because we didn’t deal with it within ourselves. Eventually days, weeks, months, years in – we get so used to that uncomfortable and stressed feeling that it became normal with constant suppression and short term gratification from the external sources.
We all know where that leads, suppression of our emotions, with external sources – we start having health/financial/relationship problems because we’re constantly under stress and we’ve been in that state for so long that we don’t even know what we feel and why do we feel that way so it comes out of us in unconscious projection ways.
Second, when we know now that it ALL starts within us first, when we know that the only resistance to the outside world comes from within us, when we know that only WE can change our life, that only we are responsible for our emotions, that’s when we are taking responsibility for ourselves and start asking questions that are bringing us to solutions.
Then we start asking, okay so if I’m the one creating stress within me, I can change it, so why am I in resistance to this situation, why am I in resistance to how I feel at the moment.
The questions then start getting more quality, and get deeper – WHY do I feel like this because of that situation, what feelings am I actually feeling?
Those questions get you quickly and practically to the answers you want. But a lot of people ask me, okay, but what then? I found out what I am actually feeling, I found out why, and I understand why I am in resistance to it, I have clarity now in that sense, but I still don’t feel at ease. What is missing there?
Acceptance. Acceptance people is the key missing there. When we know those answers now, and we actually accept it as it is. We stay in that emotion, we allow ourselves to feel it, we don’t run away from it, we stay in discomfort of that moment, we accept it. When we accept the emotion that we’re feeling in the moment, we are also telling ourselves that we are safe.
We accept it, we embrace it, we experience it, we surrender to it…and with that, we can let it go!
We can live our lives without constantly running away from ourselves and what we feel. If we don’t start taking care of ourselves, if we don’t get familiar to our patterns and how we feel in certain situations and why, we will be in stress and we won’t be truly happy and fulfilled like we all deserve to be.
The best methods that I found during my journey to ease in the moment is meditation, grounding, walking and being in nature and deep breathing exercises.
We are emotional beings, we are all here to learn emotional balance.
Life is about being balanced, but it was never about the external and the environment, it was always within us. Our life is an external reflection of our inside world.
Whatever is happening in our lives, is a lesson or a blessing for us, to get where we need to be and to learn what we need to learn. No exceptions. With truly knowing that, in the hardest times, we have that faith keeping us from staying in the mud because we know that better days are coming, they always are.
Life is full of ups and downs, the only constant we have in life is change. If we don’t change deliberately and grow, life will make us change and grow.
It is exactly like our seasons – we will always have seasons, they will always change every 3 months in a year. If we will we always be in resistance to it, we will be stressed every single season. This is too cold, this is too hot, this is too rainy, this is too many flowers.
So, the best way is to be aware of that, to know that changes happen, all the time, something awesome happens, something hard happens, and by knowing that, we will accept it as it is, and we won’t try to change the season anymore, we will change the only thing we actually CAN change in this world, ourselves.
Accept things as they are and adjust accordingly. We are the most adaptable creatures on this planet, we can adapt to anything! But don’t use that for the other side
You can always be better, do better, and feel better. No matter what is happening around you.
Allow yourself to feel, allow yourself to stay in the uncomfortable situation, accept it, embrace it, grow from it, let it go, see what you can do to change and live your life the way you want it to be. Never settle for less and make your life a priority.
You’re here for a reason, you’re not here to feel stressed and unhappy and unfulfilled your whole life! Accept that you’re amazing and worthy of living a life you want! You’re much more than you believe yourself to be, remember!